the climb

now it is my turn
to hold your hand
to hold you up
melt in your eyes
mix into your soul
be stronger than ever before

and i…
…i already feel stronger
i cry
sometimes
i know
but because
it is because
i miss
You
our memories
i don’t want to look
weak now
because i am
not

i am strong
strong enough to hold your hand
run with you
through the fields
with butterflies
in your hair
in our hearts
towards the sun
and down the hill

i love You
my missing part
in the puzzle
my lost side
in the ocean
i love You

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Unlimited

20160529_133903_edited

Yes, that’s right folks! All-inclusive 50 GB of unlimited internet is only for 49.99! What we see here is another great method to get ass fucked in Turkey, almost like anything else. Streets are filled with these kinds of smart marketing strategies and it would not surprise me a bit to see unlimited free air for 24.99 and two unlimited king size burgers just only for 9.99.

People are filled with lies, call it instinctive. However, some begin to lose faith in humanity and trust in the community. I just can’t get used to getting deceived each single day regarding even the smallest respect of the so-called social life. It would be wrong of me to call the life I lead a social one either; but, whatever is that I can’t just fit into these messed up social norms of this fucked up society. I used to question many things in life, and lately, I question almost everything.

How somebody supposed to trust the timetables, when the trains delay without any warning? The life, in which I am not allowed to think and express my thoughts freely and criticize the so-called life we lead, is just suffocating the soul I bear. The societal norms do not permit to do otherwise, unless you desire to lose the fake robot people around you, your machine-like job and even the singlest right you consider that you have obtained freely without any conditions or consequences.

I have lost two jobs so far since I kindly asked for money, which I am not supposed to even ask at all, because why would you? Why would you even ask for something you have earned? Back in the day, I asked to get fully accredited for the education I got in the U.S., and the authorities in Turkey responded me threatening “You shouldn’t have gone to study as an exchange student overseas!” while I considered I had (somewhat) “represented” Turkey in the U.S.

This paranoia drove me to ask the cab driver if it would really cost me 10 bucks to get to the train station, when I needed to get the station last night. And so kind was he, he sincerely explained it would. I, then, felt ashamed. Getting deceived in the cab twice must not mean that I should always make sure that I am not getting tricked each time taking a cab, but in vain.

All my soul asks for is a just warm cave, where can I just lay my head down and rest in unlimited peace.

 

Daydreaming

“Je Suis Anan”

Brace yourselves “je suis Bruxelles” posts & “Belgian flags” coming!

I am sorry for the people Belgium, I hope you will recover soon. It is shocking to wake up a day to see our beloved ones are under serious risk. And “this waiting” makes me anxious, of course, but time to keep calm and follow the news. First, this is not a comparison, but rather a metaphor, to help understand and further explain hypocritical humanism we bestow in the social media.

I, personally and with my free will, want to point out something different though: “je suis Bruxelles” posts & “Belgian flags.”

There have been three bombings in Ankara, in five months, five massive blasts all throughout Turkey, from counties to metropolitan areas, in six months, killing hundreds of civilians, planned and executed by various terrorist organizations, including those OPENLY SUPPORTED by Belgium. And that same Belgium, allowed the same terrorist groups to open up a mourning tent a day after Ankara bombings in the memory of suicide bombers, in Brussels near EU headquarters.

But anyways, wait a second, I have not seen a single “je suis Ankara/Istanbul” post nor any Turkish flags on the social media, yet, this should not mean that I would be satisfied if people did these sort of things, to prove that they are overly sensitive and truly against terrorism. However, our very human-friendly buddies, who think the opposite is true, might show up soon with profile photos in black, yellow and red stripes, like they did in Paris attacks.

And this, of course, will give me a chance to BLOCK those wretched beings, who were indifferent to attacks in Turkey, but very much disappointed by those in Belgium, just as if their results were different and people killed in Ankara and Brussels are a lot more different than each other. I can, then, easily make the assumption that humans killed in Belgium and France are More Human than those killed in my home, here in Ankara, or those in Syria, maybe Palestine or Pakistan or Norway, remembering extremist attacks done by Anders-Breivik. Let’s not forget, there is no guarantee that we won’t suffer from terrorism someday. And we should take action against it, and all, united as One!

Lastly, I wouldn’t be ashamed to pay a visit if a mourning tent happened to be set near the Turkish Assembly, Ankara, in the memory of the suicide bombers, who died in Brussels attacks. Nice metaphor, huh? I wish the lust of the politicians actually ended up hurting themselves, not the poor communities all around the world, from North Korea to Russia, Saudi Arabia to Turkey, Belgium to the United States.


We are One

Hitching a Hike in Konya

Hitchhiking in Konya—Yes, that’s right! I have gone mad, but perhaps not?

Before visiting Konya, I was prejudiced against it, much like anybody else living in Turkey. Because if compared, Konya would be Arkansas of Turkey for a lot of people, but not for me anymore. And if you have long hair on your elbows with tank-tops… No, Konya is not the best place on earth to stroll around nor to hitchhike . Well, hitchhiking in Konya now should sound hell a lot crazier and creepier than before for some. However, my experiences proved it to be the opposite. And even far more satisfying than those in Ankara, where hitchhiking is almost a tradition. So my foreign readers, if there happen to be any, would be like “What the heck is Konia, and what is so special about it?”

Konya is the capital. The capital of the Seljuks, a Turkic community succeeded by Ottomans, and later by the Republic of Turkey. And Konya is the home of Rumi! Fun, huh? Great place to be Little Rock for Rumi and those outstanding poets, artists and statesmen. In Konya, I had a chance to discover an unspoken truth: Seljuks were ahead of their time. Even ahead of our time when compared. However, I will talk about something else to—night!


Hitchhiking in Konya

At one instance, I took public transportation, which is very wide and developed compared rest of the places I have been to so far in my life, and had to transit to a different bus. But I happened to be penniless, not even a kuruş. I kindly asked the dolmuş driver to pull up near an ATM. And he did. Guess what?! Malheur — “out of service.”

—Take your own risks that your hitchhiking doesn’t turn out to be bitchhiking!

I asked a pal, who came over with his goddess pretty daughter-to withdraw some cash- whether there were any ATM’s nearby and obviously, there were none! Almost 11 PM, late as fuck where driving from point A to B takes at least 1 hour. Duh, Konya is the biggest city in Turkey. Probably as large as Kansas, at least, Tennessee.

(The readers wondering what happened later…)

I fell in love with his daughter, and so did she. Then, we got married. I couldn’t believe myself. How would I suppose to explain this to my family and friends? I was married to a—four-year-old kid!

.

.

.

Well, he offered me a lift to a close by ATM. And I happily got some cash to transit to back home. What a day.

Hitchhiking song

Architectural Beauty

If you ever drop by somewhere near Alaadin/Konya or the tram stop called “Zafer”, you can pay a visit to “Atatürk Museum,” where there is absolutely nothing worth to see, and have a chance to take a look at this pretty right next to it.

While wasting time near Alaadin, I figured I could check out some museums nearby and then found out that Atatürk Museum was just in 10 minutes walk, I said to myself “Why not?” since it would be pretty interesting to see something about Atatürk, who is known to be liberal and open-minded in a city (falsely—very falsely!) attributed to be conservative. Unfortunately, there was nothing worth to see in there. Couple historical facts about the museum which it was built in and some factual data about Atatürk and so on.

Leaving the museum broken-hearted, I came across to this building and was impressed by its architecture. This is my not-very-interesting story of visiting Konya Atatürk Museum.

How to see this beauty?

 


 

Ölümünüzü nasıl alırsınız? İŞİD’li, mi HDP’li mi, PKK’lı mı, TAK’lı mı, PYD’li mi, YPJ’li mi, YPG’li mi, TKP’li mi, MLKP’li mi, DHKPC’li mi? 18 Mart Şehitleri Anma Günü’nde mi olsun, Nevruz’da mı, yoksa sıradan bir Cumartesi sabahında mı?

İstiklâl

Gözlerimi kırpmadan yürüdüğüm o sokaklarda,
bombalar patlar olmuş.
Paramparça olmuş umutlarıma
kanlar bulanmış.

Duygularımı geri verin bana,
göz yaşlarımda ıslanan umudumu istiyorum.
Suçlu ben miyim,
sadece?
Öyleyse suçlayanlar utansın.
Artık Yıldızım parlamaz
olmuş.
Yıldızım sönmüş.
Hayallerim…

Ben öldüm.
Ve sen de…
Sonra yeniden doğduk,
ama başka yerlerde.


Prince of Nowhere

Fragile